I do not have triskaidekaphobia.
But I am frightened of 2013. It scares me to admit that as well.
I’ve been fretting about it for quite some time now. Perhaps I am being unreasonable. Perhaps it’s all in my head. Perhaps I am overthinking the whole thing.
But this time last year, I was saying to anyone who would listen that 2012 was going to be MY year. I meant it. 2012 was going to be MY YEAR. And you know what?
- I had two cookbooks published.
- I had an all new kitchen installed, courtesy of KitchenAid.
- I traveled to Seattle, to LA twice, to Monterey, to Fresno, to Florida, to Cleveland, Boston, and New York, DC, Gettysburg, Connecticut, Hershey, The Greenbrier, The Homestead, and a handful of Four Seasons Hotels. Places I have only dreamed about staying? I stayed. All amazing.
- I was spoiled. I ate the best meals of my life this year. The BEST.
- I took a dream job as the Test Kitchen Culinary Specialist for Dixie Crystals Sugar.
- I hosted a conference – A CONFERENCE – with my best friend Paula.
- I saved enough money to walk into a car dealership and pay cash for a hot car. All by myself.
- I have a savings account. With actual money in it.
- I saw my baby off to Kindergarten, and he’s thriving.
- I have a new cookbook under contract, and it’s HUGE for me. HUGE. Full color. All my own. MINE.
- I’ve had phone conversations with Guy Fieri and Spike Mendelsohn. I met Ree, The Pioneer Woman. And Bakerella. And Joy. I would like to put Joy in my pocket, but I doubt she would like that very much, as my jeans are fairly tight. I became friends – actual friends – with Duff Goldman.
- My best friends – all bloggers. And I get to see them, quite a lot. Brandi, Paula, Bree. It’s awesome. We’ve been together a lot this year. I am so blessed with friends like these girls.
- I got to hang out with Ben Ford (yeah, Indiana Jones’ son) TWICE.
- I discovered Special Brownies.
- I did a 5k. For real.
- I bought an expensive pair of boots, and I love them so much that I’ve actually worn them as much as they’re worth.
- I gave up underwear and pajamas. Trust me, it’s a good thing, but let’s not discuss it.
- I’ve become addicted to makeup. That’s good for everyone but my wallet. Sephora stock is likely up due to my new habit. But, I look presentable most days…no one needs to see me sans face.
- I’m finding a new kind of happy. I don’t know how to describe it, as it’s an unfamiliar feeling to me. Happy should mean happy, I think, but I don’t really know what that’s even supposed to FEEL like, so, I am learning. I think it’s happy. So – I am finding it.
And so now maybe you see…2012 was wonderful. Better than any one person should have. Better than I deserve. So for me to sit here and proclaim – “2013 is going to be MY year” seems so selfish.
I HAD my year.
Does 2013 have to be lackluster? Can life KEEP getting better? Does the universe work like that? Is there a such thing as karma? Can 2013 REALLY be MY YEAR, and 2012 just a precursor?
I WANT to be excited. I want to believe that. I do. I want to say screw the bad vibes – 2013 will be as good as I make it. The harder I work, the luckier I will get. And I do work hard. Harder than many. I treat my blog as my business, and it is work. You should see my schedule. My blog calendar. I have boards and reminders and notes both paper and electronic. I have a trip or two scheduled every single month through July already.
And I am scared.
Is that crazy?
I’d love to hear from you. Just how crazy AM I? Or – am I not crazy at all?
You know I care about what you say… So say it.