My Kitchen, My World…India!

Yawn.

Jon is gone, having a big time in Athens, Georgia this weekend, where he has sideline (yes, SIDELINE) passes to the Georgia/Alabama game on Saturday. No, I wasn’t even invited. Instead, I get to stay home and take care of The Boy, and clean out all my closets and the laundry room and the drawers and the fridge and the cabinets and the bathrooms. It seems everytime Jon is away, I get the urge to get rid of everything I can get my hands on. Before Seven was born, and we still had a little bit of money to our names (hahaha) I had a tendency to buy entire rooms of new furniture whenever he would go away for more than a couple of days. Now I have to amuse myself with less extravagant options. But that’s okay…I like my furniture now.

But anyway, I digress. I wasn’t feeling the love for India. I just wasn’t. I also wasn’t allowed to “funk up the house with a bunch of curry” either. So I did make something. Just a little something, though. I will elaborate after you listen to my India story.

Never been there. Thought about it once…taking a beach trip to Goa and combining it with a week or so in the Maldives. Wouldn’t THAT be nice. Oh to be rich and have a private plane. And a seaplane. And an AmEx Black.

Sheesh, wake up. That isn’t my India story.

When I worked as the Sales & Catering Director at Mountain Lake, we did gobs and gobs and gobs of weddings. And I arranged every. single. one. This was before the lake, all 65 acres of it, mysteriously vanished, dried up to nothing except the remains of a lot of dead trout and a few bones from a mystery man they found at the bottom last week. (He was dead, too…and trust me, there are more dead people down there than him.)

Where was I? Oh yeah, weddings. I had this Indian couple get married there one summer. They booked the entire resort for 4 days and had 2 weddings – one traditional and one Indian. That Indian one was something else! Bright colors, gorgeous flowers…very interesting customs. They were so sweet to work with – they even wanted me to dress in a fancy Indian outfit – which they supplied, and I did wear it) AND they gave me some really amazing gold earrings from India as well.

SO while I haven’t been there, that’s as close as I am gonna get.

Now, what did I make?

I made this gross “Fudge.” In theory, it sounded good. Sweetened Condensed Milk (which we all know makes Dulce de Leche, which is YUM) and coconut, stirred together with a couple of spices. How bad could it be?? Check out the recipe for yourself…

INGREDIENTS

3 cups sweetened flaked coconut
1 1/2 (14 ounce) cans sweetened condensed milk
2/3 cup sliced almonds
1 tablespoon ground cardamom (optional)

DIRECTIONS
Grease a 9×9 inch pan. Stir together the coconut and condensed milk in a large, microwave-safe bowl. Cook on High in the microwave for 7 minutes, stirring every 30 seconds. When the coconut mixture is hot and bubbling, stir in the almonds and cardamom. Pour into the prepared pan, and smooth the top with a spatula.
Cool for 1 hour in the refrigerator, then cut into 1 inch squares with a greased knife.

Easy, yes. But how’d it taste??

It was ick-nastacious. Or for those of you from the 80’s – like, gag-a-maggot.

Seven of course liked it. (See previous posts – he likes dogfood, too)

Now, my hiney is fat enough without having to FORCE myself to eat a gozillion calories I don’t even like, so that fudge is still sitting in the fridge, where I am waiting for it to die, so that I can throw it away without feeling too bad about it. You can’t just throw perfectly harmless food – it has to be rotted or moldy or on fire or something.

Hey…Where’s my lighter??

So you read my MKMW post…now go see what the others thought. Thanks to Aunt Lolo for choosing India this week…sorry I was a big slacker. At least I know for sure that I do not like Indian Food, right? All about the learning, people, all about the learning.