Steps To Take When Your Relationship Is Definitely Done
Is your relationship definitely over? This is a question you need to ask yourself. While it’s not something that most like to think about, it’s something that happens regularly. Relationships end, people struggle to decide whether this is the right thing for them, and it’s tough.
There are many reasons this may happen, communication may break down, one or both of you may have fallen out of love, or perhaps your life goals are just no longer aligned. It doesn’t always have to be messy and dramatic, sometimes it’s a simple case of letting go. But, what do you do when you know your relationship is over? That’s a good question, and one that we’re going to be looking at today.
Down below, we’re going to be diving into some of the different steps that you can take when you know the time on your relationship has come, so keep reading down below if you would like to find out more.
Have An Open And Honest Conversation
The first thing that you need to do is have an open and honest conversation with your partner. You need to speak to them about what is going on inside your head, how you’re feeling, what has happened to get you to this point. It’s common for people to want to avoid this, as sometimes the conversation itself is the most painful part of separation.
Laying down everything that you’ve been thinking and feeling can cause worry and concern, as you may feel as though you’re going to hurt the person you’ve spent your time with for the duration of your relationship. Or, you may feel as though they’re going to argue/not listen to what you have to say.
No matter what, it’s imperative that you say what you need to say, and lay it all out on the table. Your partner deserves to understand why you’re ending the relationship, and they deserve more than you just saying ‘we’re done’ and making your exit. So, sit them down, and be open, honest, and as kind as you can.
Talk About What Comes Next
Once the conversation has concluded in a sense of what you’re thinking and feeling, you then need to decide what comes next. If you’re not living together and your lives are not too entwined, then there’s no reason for things to be too complicated. You can go your separate ways without much issue at all.
However, if you’re living together then it may get a little more complex. One of you may choose to leave that day, or you may decide to continue living together briefly while one of you looks for somewhere else to stay. This works well for those who don’t have friends/family in the area, and as such it would be too difficult to move right away. As long as you are both happy with the agreement, that is what matters most here.
Decide What You’re Going To Tell The Kids
If you have children together, you need to determine what the best course of action is to tell them that you are separating. Perhaps you will sit down together and let them know that you love them very much and they will still be spending time with both of you.
Make sure that they know your decision to separate has nothing to do with them, as often kids find a way to blame themselves. It’s possible that they’re going to think their behavior or the way that they have been acting lately could be responsible, so it’s imperative that you reassure them as many times as it takes that this is not the case. Be civil, and highlight that you are still a family to help them feel at ease here.
Ideally, you need to present a united front here, speaking to the kids together rather than individually to reinforce this point. This will help them to feel better about the situation, knowing that you don’t hate each other and they’re not going to be forced to choose between you.
Make Arrangements For The Kids
Speaking of your kids, you need to make arrangements with each other as to the best course of action here. If they are settled in school, the best thing that you can do is keep them there if possible. This may mean staying with one parent predominantly, seeing the other on weekends and holidays. Or, if the other parent is going to live close by, a 50/50 split may work best.
If things start to get sour here, or agreements cannot be reached, then you may need to look into getting a child custody attorney to help you through. This way, it’s all done through the legal system, and there can be no disputing the outcome that is decided. Just make sure that you try to keep this as civil as you can for the sake of the children, taking into account what they say and what they feel.
Be Sure Of Your Decision
The final thing that we’re going to say to you is that you need to be sure of your decision to end the relationship. Even if you know it’s over, there may be some kind of hesitation that you need to talk yourself through. It’s normal, so don’t feel bad or weak for getting to this point.
You’ve spent a lot of your time with this person, and as such it’s natural to second guess yourself even when you know it’s the right thing to do. Go through everything in your head, and reassure yourself that you’re doing the right thing.
Hopefully, you have found this article helpful, and now see some of the steps that you should take if you’re sure that your relationship is over. It’s a tough decision to come to, so it’s not something that you should decide lightly. Make sure that you have as much support around you as you possibly can, and this should make the process a little easier.
