I’m A Tough Mudder

Or rather…I am at least going to attempt to be.

Last weekend, I managed to take the BEAST tee shirt right off the back of a 7 foot tall semi-pro wrestler.  So now, I think that because of that and because I go to the gym, I’m capable of making it through one of the toughest races there is to run.

beast

The Tough Mudder.

(That wrestler? He gave me the shirt after I said it was cool.  I mean, really? Who am I kidding? By the way, helloooo Logan Creed. You’re mega tall.)

Anyway.

Tough Mudder.

On June 13, Team Mudderly Doughmesstic, which consists of me, Jon, and an old college buddy Jay are heading to Doswell, Virginia to tackle 12 miles of terrain, and 20 grueling obstacles.  Everything from ice baths to mud miles, to electroshock, to freaking tear gas.

I have no idea what I have gotten myself into.  I registered weeks ago, but, I just sat down, logged on to the Tough Mudder site, and watched videos of what we are up against.

I so shouldn’t have done that.

Now I am kind of freaking out.

https://youtu.be/kCwyOKiADys

I can handle the miles.  It’s all broken up with the obstacles, and I’ve shopped 12 miles before.  It can’t be much different than a Black Friday marathon, and I can take a fella out for getting in the way of MY Furby.  But the monkey bars over a mud pit?  Or jumping from a giant platform to grab a trapeze, then swing on it to hit a bell before dropping eleventy two feet into a pond of mud?

Whaaaat?  I don’t like getting my hair wet.

I’ll probably die right there, but if not, I’ll crawl the next half mile through snotfields and wind up in an obstacle full of live electric wires.  Being wet and electrocuted sounds like a great reason to sign that biblically long waiver.

workout-dayBut I’m going to try.

For the past year, I have been determined.  I’ve hit the gym 4-7 hours a week.  I’ve maintained a healthy diet.  Heck, I bake cupcakes but SPIT THEM OUT in the sink.

I am focused, people.

And this race?  I want to survive it.  I want to say I tried.  No, I may not make it through every obstacle, but I refuse to bypass any of them.  I want to know I did my best.

I’ve lost 50 pounds this year.  I’ve put on pounds of muscle as well.  I’ve given myself hell physically AND mentally.

I am ready for a challenge.  Reach the end.

What a challenge.

I’ve been talking to one of the gals who just ran the race herself with Mohawk Flooring, and she’s still alive.  I met the brand out at Mom2.0 in Arizona, and while I was there, I made friends.  Turns out, they were pairing up with Tough Mudder to show off their new stain resistant carpeting this summer, and I think that’s genius.  Smart, right? Huge MUD RUN, and easy to clean carpet? It just makes sense. We’ve been chatting a bit back and forth, and like I said, my gal there made it though unscathed.  So I am feeling like maybe, just maybe, I might not croak.  It’s possible.  She’s been very encouraging, and I have hope.

That’s a good thing.

Especially since I’m not ready to die. In a mud pit full of tear gas and likely, cholera.  But if that happens, and I DO go out that way, please put it on my tombstone.  No one I know would ever believe it.  And make sure my 3rd grade boyfriend knows it, too.

Seriously.

Oh, and if you are interested in joining my team – I’d love to have you.  Let me know, I’ll send you a link!