Tuesdays With Dorie…Granola Grabbers

No lie, I have gained at least 7 pounds since making these things. Maybe more. That was three days ago.

I have eaten them for breakfast. For lunch. For dinner. While sitting on my fat butt watching skinny people swim like they were on fire and muscled little girls flip and flop their way to gold medals.

I bet those girls have never eaten a granola grabber.

As in, Ever.

I would be able to see it through their spandex.

Up until making these, I had only experienced granola through a Kudos bar, back when they were the cool thing to take in your Dukes of Hazzard lunch box. Shellac covered chocolate covered granola. Junk Food disquised as good-for-you. I can assure you, Granola Grabbers are not good for you, either…but they sound like they could be. Kudos to that.

Okay, I skipped the raisins. No thanks. Just not crazy about them. Instead, I added a healthy amount of 2 kinds of chocolate chips. Oops, three chocolates. Yes, three. Semisweet chunks, bittersweet chips, and milk chocolate mini chips. I also added a few walnuts and a few chopped hazelnuts, as I like to keep most of my almonds for making macarons. Oh, did I mention the hazelnuts were chocolate covered? Well, they were. Yum.

I also used two different flavors of granola. Don’t ask me what they were, I just poured some in a bag at the Whole Foods store. (Not Whole Foods, Whole Foods like you city slickers have, this is like the Hippy store where you buy loose herbs and overpriced vitamins.) Good though. I ate too much of it from the bag and ended up having to add a little bit of regular old oatmeal to the 3 cups I needed for this recipe. I also ended up using a bit more coconut than the recipe needed – but I love coconut. It wasn’t a mistake. Don’t even ask me what the wheat germ is for. Or what it is. I know I could Google it, but I don’t really care that much. If Dorie says to use it, you use it. Don’t ask too many questions.

I would like to be able to tell you how these hold up after several days, but I can’t. Many were eaten while still hot enough to scald my tongue. Many were just eaten in general. Most are visible through my ever tightening blue jeans, and these are my fat jeans, people. These cookies are the devil. Or hippies are. Maybe it is the hippies. You see, we call the Whole Foods store the Hippy Market. Tree huggers and granola eaters go there. I’ll bet one of those hippies put some crack in that stash of granola I got.

Yes, that must be it.

Crack.

I am never making them again.